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and i'm going to talk about the runner and the chaser phase... that that's one of the dynamics right yes yeah this idea that there's always the one that's running the others that's chasing mm-hmm yeah which is going back to this idea of empath and narcissists too there's this exactly right yes so the runner and chaser phase is actually what we call in the narcissistic behavior silent treatment and the new age side which uh it made things in my in my humble opinion a little bit worse it creates a trap because they say in the new age forums that once somebody runs away from you you must start healing yourself in order for them to also heal themselves and for them to come back but it's actually silent treatment one of them represents our narcissistic traits as a mirror it's not them it's us it's our hidden trauma that we don't uh we do not admit that we have these issues we don't want to see that we have deep inside like memories from our childhood mother father issues whatever yeah yeah so that is reflected in that relationship and they run away of course for their own reason but once we start accusing and blaming our twin flame we lost the game so in that in yeah in that stage when they run away the only thing we have to do is to go within and change ourselves not for them to come back but for us because they do that unconsciously and subconsciously from another from the fifth dimension of thinking just to help us grow but in this dimension it seems negative we feel pain we feel abandonment etc i think the biggest one is abandonment man exactly that's one of the biggest traumas for human beings in general i think all of us at some point in childhood felt that sense of abandonment and that's one of the greatest fears that we have i think so yeah so this is a mirror this is a mirror right here and when the person's running they're unconsciously basically um giving you an opportunity to go even deeper within yourself the idea is not exactly exactly exactly but the first thing that arouses in in one psyche is all that oh here it is again i'm getting abandoned what everything that i love goes away from me etc etc so the mind takes over and the mind creates emotions thoughts creates emotions and then we we go to assumptions and assumptions create reality and we are ending yeah and we are ending up in a loop of abuse and unfortunately we see in the communities of twin flames people waiting 20 and 30 years for the twin flame to come back which is ridiculous because we don't love ourselves enough to realize first of all that we need to raise safe boundaries to influence is all about self-love and learning how to admit our mistakes never blame the other take responsibility of our thoughts and actions but it's really really difficult...
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